Have your cake but don't eat it

So I had a get together at my home after my Baptism yesterday. There were LOTS of extremely nice people that came over, and so many of them brought all manner of goodies to my home, which were shared with all.

After everyone left, I noticed there was about 1/4 of a very rich looking chocolate fudge cake left behind. It looked particularly appetizing.

I have been thinking increasingly about how our body is Gods' Temple and that we are commanded to take care of it. So frequently I had just thought about how what I was eating was truly bad for me but eating it anyway.

So I looked at it and I thought to myself... I'll put this in the fridge today. I don't have the strength of will to throw it out but I actually DO have the strength to put it in the fridge and not eat it right now. Maybe tomorrow after I am confirmed and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, maybe then I'll be strong enough.

So today I was confirmed. It was a very moving experience. I didn't realize just how moving an experience it was until I shook everyone's hand, until the Bishop asked the membership who could "sustain" the confirmation (I think that is the word he used). Seeing all those people with their hands up was very powerful...

Later I thanked my friend Mike who actually confirmed me in the hall outside of where we had Sacrament. I was so moved in thanking him that I wept.

Later in my day at Church, I spoke before the Relief Society. I read the first post on this blog out loud to them. I was so overcome with emotion that I could scarcely speak at some points, and I wept openly while reading. I know I learned even more about how I feel by reading those words out loud. I think some of those present felt what I felt while I was reading it. If there was even one person that was faltering a little or doubting what an impact being a good person could have on others then I very sincerely hope they understood what an AMAZING impact God has on people.

And later, I was at home. I had fed the kids a snack. The cake was in the fridge. And the kids were playing. I "snuck" into the kitchen. As I walked toward the kitchen, the devil did his work. "Just a bite" "Ok, a slice, on a plate..." "I'll just grab the fork and the cake and see how much I eat." "Ok, I'm grabbing the fork and..."

And there was my daughter. Daddy, come play with us!

I go and I play with my two children. Fork on the counter. We play for a while and I hear the cake calling to me. At a time when my children are occupied with themselves I sneak off. This time I am grabbing a glass to fill with milk, a fork, and I'm just going to eat that cake in a single sitting - my mind is MADE UP!

Fork in hand, glass filled with milk, putting the milk back in the fridge, there is my beautiful daughter. "Daddy, be the tickle monster!"

Milk gets left on the counter, fork next to it. I go playing with my kids, I chase them about the house, we run all over the place, the kids and I cackling with glee.

I go back "just to grab the milk"... "no cake, no, no cake, just the milk". I have the milk in my hand and the fork. I turn to the fridge. My son and my daughter arrive. "Daddy - you be the tickle monster AGAIN!" I think to myself... this must be a sign. This has been THREE times. I put the fork away, grab my milk and go with the kids to tickle them and play.

It is probably fifteen to twenty minutes later and they are pretty tired (ok, I was tired too!), we had been giggling non stop for quite some time. My glass of milk is empty. I take it to the kitchen to put it into the dishwasher. Well, I'll do that, but I'll also grab some of that awesome looking CAKE! I got the fork out. Abbie was there - "Daddy! Come PLAY WITH US!"

I put the fork away. I put the glass into the dishwasher. I went and played with my children.

I know I am overweight. I've known that for years. A radio talk show host once made me EXTREMELY angry when he said "If fat people would just not eat so much, they'd lose weight!". I remember thinking "And if you didn't spend so much money you'd have more money!" Sometimes the solution to our problems truly IS simple. We just have to listen to what we are hearing inside ourselves. I was really hoping to eat less and eat smarter and exercise more once I had the gift of the Holy Ghost. I had hoped it would speak more strongly to me after I was confirmed.

Maybe the Holy Ghost doesn't work precisely how I thought. I know I got a very strong message each time my children asked me to play. I know I was jolted back to reality after having gotten so close to my temptation.

But I left that cake in the fridge. I went to a friends' house for a very nice dinner with my kids before my ex picked them up from my house.

Once I got home, I sat down to write about the cake experience in my blog. I was resolved to throw the cake out after I had written my post. But I don't believe in writing about something I've done if I haven't actually DONE it. What if I wrote out that I had thrown it away with the best of intentions and then walked into the kitchen to do so, but was overcome and ate some or all of it. I would have lied.

So I say this to anyone that wonders what the power of BLOGGING something like this is - after I sat down here to write about the cake, I had the strength of will to go into my kitchen and put that cake down the garbage disposal before coming back to write about it.

So I had my cake... for two days... and I didn't eat it. :)

I think I can almost taste it though!